Time for another Weekend Writing Warriors snippet. Every Sunday, I join a bunch of writers through a blog hop and post an 8-10 sentence snippet of my current project. You can click on the link to see what everyone else is up to.
Oh, boy. When the chapter is just about Reshma, that usually means fire is involved. Here’s a scene I’ve been working on today that features Reshma and her brother, Jarom, after a long separation.
She turned and saw none other than her older brother standing in his own flames; they licked up his Yildirim armor like excited dogs greeting their master as he kept them at bay.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“Jarom,” Reshma spat, “is setting an inn on fire any way to greet your favorite sister?”
“Just following my orders,” Jarom answered, both angry and embarrassed. “It’s also my orders to take you into custody as a traitor to your own people.”
“Take that trinket off your neck or you’re not my brother,” Reshma replied flatly.
His throne of flames disappeared as Reshma used her hands and singing spell to wipe them all away like a bad dream.
“Is our family safe?” Reshma pleaded, wondering if reasoning with her now-Yildirim brother was worth it. Jarom looked coldly down at his sister from the scorched pile of branches and said,
“No one is safe as long as that Ice Chanter girl walks free.”
For those confused at the mention of “trinket,” Reshma and Ilsi have previously discovered that all the Yildirim soldiers wear a crystal-esque amulet on their necks to show their abject loyalty to the Yildirims. Breaking the necklace is a symbolic and literal act of leaving the Yildirims. Obviously Jarom is having none of that.
Check out other snippets here. And comment below if you’ve got a snippet to share as well!
7 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 23”
Great snippet. I loved the line about the flames like a dog — Down, Fire, down! — and the one about setting an inn on fire not being the best to greet your sister.
Great, vivid snippet that says a lot about your world and characters. All very intriguing.
Very, very visual writing! I guess this wasn’t the best reunion for brother and sister. 🙂
When You used flame twice in the same sentence, it caught my eye. Maybe a quick change up could eliminate it?
Maybe: “As Reshma used her hands and singing spell, his throne of flames disappeared, wiped away like a bad dream.
His throne of flames disappeared like a bad dream as Reshma used her hands and singing spell to wipe away the tongues of fire.
Wit, I’m a moderator here at wewriwa. When I counted sentences, I came up with eleven for your post. A couple of months ago we changed our policy from allowing eight sentences, to allowing ten. Part of the trade off for that policy change was to simply delete links from the sign up list–for posts that went over ten. I’m guessing you haven’t seen the post about that on our homepage at wewriwa.com So I didn’t delete your link today. And this is just a friendly reminder to keep the sentence limit in mind when writing your post. 🙂
Thanks for the heads up. I’ll head over to the main page and read the full post myself. In the meantime, I’ve revised the double-flame sentence (glad you pointed out the unnecessary redundancy), and I’ve taken out a sentence in this post to better follow the rules and not confuse any other participants. 🙂 “You give ’em an inch, they swim right over you”–Sebastian
I just love The Little Mermaid. 🙂 Might be my fave Disney…
Love the snippet! I love the interplay of familial attachment with the violence of siblings on opposing sides of a war. Excellent!
Loved all the details, especially the flames, and the family complications. Great snippet!