Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! Time for another Weekend Writing Warriors snippet. Every Sunday, I join a bunch of writers through a blog hop and post an 8-10 sentence snippet of my current project. You can click on the link to see what everyone else is up to.
Last week, I asked for advice relating to fairy tale retellings—mainly where I should put the information about an obscure fairy tale that informs the reader but makes them feel smart. I haven’t decided yet what to do with the prologue, but I at least attempted to rewrite this snippet that follows last week’s snippet. I’m thinking this is the place to start talking about tale parallels. Due to the WeWriWa rules, you’ll get part one and next week will wrap up this bit. What do you think?
I gave him a look, and wrote to him, How is some fairytale going to help me? He paused to read the words and shrugged his shoulders.
“Just read this and you tell me if it helps.”
He gave me the Danish version of the fairytale and he sat there and read over my shoulder as I read “The Wild Swans.” All of a sudden my gut started to ache.
A wicked stepmother, a crap-ton of brothers, the speech spell, everything. Okay, I don’t have a wicked stepmother, but there’s someone who wanted to get ahead by cursing a girl and her brothers. The princely brothers flew away as swans, and the princess had to find out on her own how to save them. A figure in a dream lays out her quest: she has to make nettle shirts that will turn her brothers back into swans. It explains the dreams I have about thorns and needles.
It’s felt really good to scrap some bad/lame stuff and replace it with better words. I plan on taking the week off from social media (Heaven help us) to focus more on my writing, and I’m excited to see where that goal will lead me.
Until then, check out other snippets here. You can also learn more about the novel, Speechless, here. Don’t forget to comment below if you’ve got a snippet to share as well! Compliments and constructive insight are equally welcome.
15 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 51”
Nicely done, Whitney!
All the details, nothing ‘ho-hum’.
I am glad you chose that fairy tale, it is one of my favourites.
Awesome! I think you’re the first that I’ve encountered that knows about the fairy tale. I’d love to hear any suggestions you have to ensure I do it justice. 🙂
I think the snippet works, nice and tight, not too much backstory. Will be interesting to see where the story goes next!
I appreciate your feedback! It’s hard to gauge how much is too much. But I’m definitely not afraid of cutting out unnecessary fluff! It’s rewriting or putting stuff in that requires extra work. 😉
The only part that gave me pause was her writing to him, but that’s merely a function of not remembering the context. Other than that, this works.
Thanks for the feedback!
I really liked it! I liked that you summarized the fairy tale rather than dragging out the details. Great work, and happy writing!
Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement. 🙂
Great job! A week off social media? Wow! Impressive!
We’ll see how it goes! I had to banish my social media apps so I wouldn’t open them out of habit. 🙂
The Wild Swans? I love that fairytale!
Seems all good to me. I rather like the “a crap-ton of brothers” bit.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s heard of it. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. 🙂
Whether it helps or not is not really the point I guess, it’s always better to have at least somewhere to start on.
You bring up a great point!
Tight writing. Well done. I’m going to have to abandon social media for a week (or more) to meet a deadline. I’m already feeling withdrawal and I’m not even gone. 😉