Time for another Weekend Writing Warriors snippet. Every Sunday, I join a bunch of writers through a blog hop and post an 8-sentence snippet of my current project. You can click on the link to see what everyone else is up to.
At this point, Ilsi and Reshma have tried to reason and warn the Sea King of some world political intrigue. They try to make their way back to the fishing village where they’re currently staying, but they’re out at sea and don’t have any way of returning home.
Out of the king’s subjects, Dalit offers to help them. I picked this snippet because it captures the kind of personality I have in mind for Dalit. She isn’t brainless, but she’s very proud of the little she knows how to say to humans. Her speech is very straightforward and simple, and Ilsi and Reshma copy that so Dalit can understand them. It’s just when they feel comfortable about their guide that she lets them in on a secret.
“You are not mermaids,” Dalit stated simply. Ilsi and Reshma looked to each other, confused and wary before Ilsi answered for them,
“We are human girls.”
“I know this,” Dalit replied, as if proud, “because humans don’t understand water at all.”
There was a long pause and Ilsi wondered if the meaningless conversation was over. However, Dalit turned and began swimming backwards and said,
“They tell me that I should get you lost,” Dalit said; she wasn’t smiling or showing any kind of emotion, but stated it like it was a fact.
“Are we . . . lost?” Reshma asked with polite hesitation.
I do have to warn you, I just recently watched Defiance, and I think it’s that Russian accent that’s in my head when I read this to myself.
Check out my other snippets here. Read my next snippet next Sunday. And comment below if you’ve got a snippet to share as well!
4 comments on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet 7”
I like Reshma’s reaction at the end. I wonder what Dalit will have to say about that. I like stories that involve mermaids, and this one has pure potential. Good snippet!
Mermaids come in and out of the story. But I have enjoyed exploring some characters, their lifestyle, and just what my “brand” of mermaids are like.
Haha! I think you nailed the Russian accent. That’s exactly what I “heard,” and your confirmation made me giggle.
I enjoyed the tone of the conversation and it’s all very intriguing to me. Great 8!